Previously Microwavable- Now Cedar Plankable

Note about the guest blogger- Emily Craner

Emily Craner is a student at Eastern Washington University on the very cusp of graduation. When her nose isn't in her school books, Emily can be found skiing at Schweitzer Mountain Resort or taking pictures of her weiner dog, Valentine.  Thanks for the great blog, Emily! This a refreshing break from all that holiday prepping, cooking, and gluttony thereafter.

For those who feel frightened by words such as “lemon pepper," “filet," or “braise,” I present to you ways in which to enjoy your favorite, previously microwavable delicacies via cedar plank cooking. There is a certain comfort in frozen food. It wont judge you. It doesn't take any previous culinary knowledge or skill. Also, it is cost-effective, for those days when one cannot afford a Kobe beef flank.

People generally eat microwavable food for three reasons:
1) they are in a time crunch, and it's the easiest option
2) they fear cooking, for various reasons or
3) they actually love that gooey, familiar taste of processed food.

I fall into categories two and three.

My first experiment was with the classic frozen burrito, considered a favorite by many since the first combining of cheese and refried beans. I soaked the plank for two hours, and forgot to preheat the grill. This didn't seem to end up being an issue, because my burrito was a crisp, golden brown within twenty minutes. I kept a spray bottle nearby, as instructed. Good thing, too, because burrito and plank burst into flame four times (I didn't mind. This made me feel like Bobby Flay, throwing down in an extreme cook-off). I think, also, it would have been wise to let it thaw a bit, instead of just plunking down a rock-hard burrito on the plank. Aside from these minor set backs, it was the most delectable burrito I have ever eaten. The tortilla had a distinctly smoky wood flavor, and a delicious crunch. It was so mouth watering I could hardly contain my excitement, wanting to shout from the rooftops about how incredible my planked frozen burrito had turned out. I paired it with a chilled MGD. Mama Mia!

The second planking experiment involved a hot pocket. Feeling fancy considering I was cooking on a cedar plank, I decided to opt for turkey and cheddar, as opposed to my usual pepperoni pizza. Yes, I have a usual. Anyway, this was proved to be a great decision. The cedar complimented the turkey amazingly, giving it a crunchy, flavorful shell. Never has a hot pocket tasted so exquisite. This time around, I learned from previous mistakes, and let the hot pocket thaw first for half an hour. It only ended up taking me about ten to fifteen minutes to grill it. It was hot inside, but not bubbling hot. It could certainly have been left on the grill for an additional five minutes depending on preference, but it was delicious nonetheless. It tasted like I had baked the bread, harvested the broccoli off of my organic farm, and killed and plucked the turkey myself. I.e., it tasted home made.

I've got to say that my final experiment was my favorite. Corn dog! I thawed the dog for half an hour before wrapping it in a cedar wrap that had soaked for half an hour. Cook time was only twelve minutes, and good thing. This was the most delectable scent coming from the grill, wafting through the cold winter air, making my mouth water uncontrollably. I unwrapped it, smothered it in mustard, and had a feast of epic proportions. It was so scrumptious. If you never thought the word “scrumptious” could describe a corn dog, think again! The dog paired nicely with a refreshing glass of Antioxidant Cherry 7-Up over ice. I think it might be important for one to antioxidize after ingesting a frozen burrito, hot pocket, and a corn dog.